I am a behaviorist.
I have always considered myself a very consistent parent. I have always viewed myself as predictable, loving, and consistent. Parenting Hannah was easy. She does what she is asked. She is always polite. She has the special ability to play quietly. I have come to learn that it is Hannah who is consistent, not me.
I have come to this conclusion because of my son. He is also consistent, but only in his consistent defiance of everything in authority. He will always, without fail, do the exact thing you are asking him not to do. He is very good at looking you right in the face as you tell him something, then doing the exact opposite. This is where I have questioned my parenting. Behaviorist theory supports that consistent parent will produce obedient and compliant children. There is very little that is obediant or compliant about Benny. I react with panic and frustration. Unpredictable, inconsistent, and generally not very well-thought-out. Rather than blaming him, I am going to blame myself. He has proven that my parenting is not as consistent as I once thought.
Tonight I came home quite late from an evening out running little errands with Amelia. Benny was on the couch watching TV, far past his bedtime. I told him he should go get in bed, then I plopped down on the sofa myself. Inconsistent. No follow-through.
Earlier we were at dinner with my Grandma at the Chuck-a-Rama. Ben hopped around the booth non-stop, after everyone at the table had asked him to stop repeatedly. He was so happy, jumping and bouncing over to his sister, then back to his Grandma, laughing loudly. He didn't care what we were asking him to do. He was happy. If I were good at follow-through, maybe I could get him to stop.
So perhaps the problem is follow-through. If I say I will do something, I should do it. Right?
Or is it better to let a little boy be little, and hope that he will someday grow out of his boundary-seeking and inappropriate restaurant behavior. Behaviorist parenting aside, I think Benny is pretty darn cute.
I believe that Heavenly Father sent you The child you needed at the time. Hannah is the child you needed then and now you are able to handle one with a little more "spice". My experience with Benny has always been a sweet and grateful little boy, a very NORMAL little boy. Not very many 2 year olds say thank you without out being prompted. As for resturant behavior I would be shocked and slightly appaled if he sat down quietly and ate. Time to find humor in your darling son. Things could be far worse. Children like Benny tend not to be followers and that can be a blessing in the long run. I am sure that you are a fabulous parent to all three of your cute children. Congrats on your new job and finding a home of your own. Love ya Cherie
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